things don’t always go as planned…

*Take this post. I already wrote it once and somehow I screwed it up and it disappeared into the ether.

So, I haven’t been around. I haven’t done a lot of the things I committed to. The last two years have not gone AT ALL the way I expected. Wait for it…and that is totally, completely, 100% OK.

We like to think we know how our lives are going to turn out. We work hard, we commit, we do the right things, we prioritize. Somehow though, things go wrong. Or just not right. There’s never enough time, or money, or maybe just not enough you. It kind of feels like you’re in deep water, just trying to keep your head up to breathe. The shore never seems to be any closer and you’re fighting for every breath.

*note: I understand that there are all kinds of people out there, with many really serious problems. This is in no way attempting to comment on the situations that others are in, or to diminish their struggles in any way. This is just me.

Here’s the thing…yeah, things were bad. But I made them worse. I let the things that weren’t ok bleed over into the stuff that was awesome. And I’m saying it here: I screwed up.

I let the fact that I thought I needed to take care of some things keep me from taking care of more important things and myself. I was so focused on trying to slap band-aids on the small stuff that I didn’t realize that other things were bleeding out.

Here’s what I’ve learned. Chill out. Seriously. Take a deep breath and look at your life carefully. Sometimes you have to put your feet down and when you do,¬†you realize that the water you thought was over your head is only waist deep. Take help when it’s offered (even when it is really hard). Share with people, it lightens the load. Approach things head on. Don’t let a burden in one part of your life seep into the great things that you have.

I didn’t do this. I let my life be harder than it had to be. I neglected the things that were important to me (like writing here) in lieu of things that drove me crazy. My priorities were all out of whack. So, I’m trying to change that. I’m putting myself and the people I care about first. You should try it too. There will always be something that is more important. This time, let it be you.

Go ride your bike.